Women's liberation or why it'll never work

A few days ago I at junction 8 was with Alex and Cheryl, after walking around for awhile trying to find a place to eat; we eventually narrowed it down to two choices. Expounding the virtues of delifrance, I eloquently put across my argument as to how we should eat healthy and be pampered by the comfortable seats and service of delifrance staff. On the other hand, the two girls hit back with their most powerful weapon immediately; no - not their sex appeal (or lack thereof), but rather the shrill sound that has even toppled some of the most powerful men in the world. Yes it was none other than "The Whine". As the klaxons of my whine detector started to wail, my instinctive defenses came up and I adopted the tried and true defense (others suggest a more radical approach such as a "tactical withdrawal", but i prefer to stick to textbook examples):

" Women’s liberation! We'll decide using RPS*"

Stunned that their ultimate weapon had seemingly no effect on me, they proceeded to increase the intensity of their assault.

"(Whine) But...Mos burger is cheaper, and its nicer! (Whine) "

Nevertheless, once i had my defenses up, anyone would have been hard pressed to break me. (Furthermore, my exposure to "The Whine" from one Shivana has given me a greater Whine endurance, a Cheese quotient if you will) Undaunted, the challenge was reiterated, and fearing a loss of face and pride amongst the increasing number of bystanders, they were left with no choice but to comply. As for the result?

Feng 1 Girls 0

I had successfully upheld the nature of male pride! I had won the battle...but unbeknownst to me the war was far from over. The male pride which I supposedly defended was to be my downfall. As the losers marched sullenly toward delifrance, it occurred to them that this setback would be their ticket to victory. They pretended to be compliant by picking up the menus and perusing the myriad selection of delicacies, but it was merely a ruse. They were just waiting for me to drop my defences, and the moment that happened, they striked.

I have to admit, it was a well planned strategy. Flanked by both Alex and Cheryl, I was subject to a war on two fronts; thus having to divide my defences, I was outmanned and outmanoeuvred. And I lost miserably; it was a massacre.

"The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it."
- George Orwell

(In the end, i ended up spending as much in mos burger as i would have in delifrance.
Moral of the story? Women's liberation - they don't even need it, give a woman an even break, and they'll take it and rip out your balls as they snatch it from you. )

*Rock, paper, scissors